On the Recent White House Revelations of Matters Most Delicate by William P. Benz
Or How I Came To Accept Monika & Bill's Clandiestine Affaire, which for so long, so absolutey, never happened, but now, with Presidental mea culpa most Definitely did, at least, more or less, betide.
Our Pandemic Wish is that Reality should be A Source of Glad Merriment. But alas, for those who must insist the sine qua non for such Felicity be Unambiguous Events, the Outrè Spectacle of Bill & Monika’s Association maketh for Sadd Displaye. I assure you if Republican sat upon that Seat of Presidency, this Travesty would haeth been Eschewed. For in All Matters of Mussy Sex, Members of the Elephantine Partye have Commodious Capacity for Repudiation. For certes, such Servant of that Ilk findeth even Seven Month to be Insufficient Timye for Recollection if Sex, indeed, hath taken place—a condition Borne Doubly True in the questioning of their Lawfully Wedded & Woeful Wifes.
Though Timye, herewith, may not be of the Essence, as Monika’s Predilection for Retention of Besmirched Kirtle doth Ensure Longivity of Evidence.
But why doth Our Noble Nation rush to Judgement? Have we forsaken our Stature as Consummate Bastion of Mercy? For did not our Commander-In-Chief, in his unsworn Second Truth and with Great Courage, recollect & admit to Small Degrees of Ill-Starred Commerce? In Terms of Action, having done so little, might he not hath been confused that he, in Legal Sense, did Anything at all? And in light of this New Found Clarity, should we not now accept that Never, Ever asketh he the Possessor of that Other Gentle Helping Hand to bear False Imagination? And how couldeth the Giving of Simple Gifts be construed Deleterious? Afterall, the Gifts preported to have been exchanged, carrie no more Portent than that affected by Tawdry Tyes or Carved Stones of Eskimo Aesthetic. And since those Gifts were later rehabilitated to their Previous Owner for Safe Keeping, should they be called Gifts, in Legal Sense?
And why should we be so distressed over Brief Tardiness in True Confession? Did he not elucidate the Only Motives for Untimely Revelation were to protect of His Beloved Familye and to thwart the Dark Hearte of a Stellar & Autonomous Attourney? Perchance, our President merely intended to give Confidential Succor to his Youthful Intern. Did Thou not see this in his Expression of Greate Remorse that so many did suffer for his Unwise Choice in Person, Place, and Anodyne Activity?
But let us now consider how to go beyond this Flurry of Mundane Commotion to investigate what reasons might behoove us to Forgive & Forget.
Firstly, should we really want, considering the Dastardly Multitudes which constitute the Pack of Worldly Leaders, to have a President ingrained with Predilection for Telling Truth? And Secondly, could this not be our Best Occasion to seek Greate Liberty & Independence from the Drudgery of Bipartisan Affray? And to grant ourself Fine Opportunity to forsake our Morbid Addictions to being cajoled and wheedled by Talking Heads, each Nighte upon the Evening News? Can we not imagine a Higher Calling beyond Habitual Scrutiny & Reconnaissance of Slicke Willy’s PenisGate? Let us now be the Ones that Rise Up and firmly seize True Self-government! Casting Off all Prurient Preoccupations or, at least, give effort in finding Better Subjects for that Devotion!
In Conclusion, allow me to submit, that the Actual Moral to this Chronicle should be thus:
It Is Not A Matter of What They Say It IS A Matter Of. Nor It Is A Matter of What They Say It IS NOT A Matter Of. It IS Something All Together Different. And to keep this All Together Difference hidden, is the Principal & Only Reason for this Sordid Distraction & Concerted Diversion of Our Collective Lucent Mind. We Are Always Free To Say We’ve Had Enough.
William P. Benz is an Artist, a Writer, a Poet, and a Member of that Select Group of 157,484 West Coast WEB Designers. He lives in North Portland. Whenever necessary, he conducts Workshops on the Creative Re-Integration of Defective WorldViews. He works for Spiritual Insight, Unmitigated Pleasure, or Cash. Though, not necessarily in that order. He doesn't do Windows; on Houses, on PCs, or on Blotter Paper. If the Spirit Moves You visit his Website at http://www.aracnet.com/~wpbenz He may be reached by email. Be nice.