Good Night my woes.
Good Night my tears.
My soul has found rest and has decided to do just that after all these years – rest.
I can no longer worry about and ponder on the remnants of a history estranged by misery,
seeking to destroy me.
Oh no you see.
I’m done with weeping over wounds,
secrets in too many rooms,
joy turned to gloom,
dead bodies in tombs.
I’m done with being consumed with not only my wounds but yours too.
I’m done with pain from a thought
hurt from a stare, tears from a word
and actions that reflect a lack of care.
I’m finished moping and hoping that groping change would make someone.
I’m done trying to argue and debate people into sanity.
Sometimes their happiness is relative to consistency
especially when complacency is their personality
even when routine is harming their emotional individuality,
but I can’t judge; people are who they will be
and I can’t think for them;
all I can do is think for me
and not wonder about fixing their history
or their destiny.
All is done and I’m done because I can’t live two lives under the sun so I’ll just choose one
so I’m telling you, I’m done,
done with moping, done with coping,
done with wondering, done with pondering,
done with crying and denying myself the right to be happy
done with being sad over the past -
that only makes it last
no more of that; that’s not the life for me.
Kiss the misery goodbye.
Hello Joy! You were meant for me!
Does my anger mean I’m in sin?
Does it mean I haven’t forgiven?
Have I not learned how?
Am I still harboring empty feelings of wrath and animosity
hoping that my anger towards you will create happiness for me?
Am I secretly hoping that I can half-heartedly forgive
thinking it will allow me to whole heartedly live?
Do I really believe I’m entitled to my hurt for a long time
for the purpose of using it against you whenever it’s on my mind?
Am I looking for an antidote to soothe my pain
all because I haven’t learned that keeping it creates a stain?
Am I learning what I’m supposed to about hurt, betrayal, pain, and maturity,
forgiving, pardoning, and letting you go free?
Am I trying to pass this test without examining all the memories in my chest?
What am I worshipping?
My emotions that validate my thoughts
or the Word of God consenting
truth is not subject to a feeling
so I have to ask myself
What am I learning?
This one thing:
Forgetting what lies behind me includes forgiving
even if I never receive pardoning.
What am I learning?
Forgiving even if I never receive pardoning.
Anita Resolve Scott was born in 1978 in Dallas, Texas into a family of educators in the areas of pastorate, teaching, and musicianship, Resolve’s inundation with music and words began at an early age and since have only grown into a zeal for poetry. Resolve is a poetess whose words offer forgiveness over hate, justice over injustice, and hope over anxiety. Her work expresses the truth that, in life there are two ways to exit out of a painful situation – with regret or with resolve, and the human spirit moves us to laugh again through happiness, love again through hope, and live again through healing.